


snow birds

by GalacticGoldfish



Series: lovers destiny [2]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Animal Death, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Depression, Drama, Drama & Romance, Fated Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lovers To Enemies, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, References to Depression, Self Harm Thoughts, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide mention, Undead, Yennefer is cruel when mad, animal burned alive, avoiding problems, geralt shuts her down, threatening auras, yennefer has consent issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 12:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22849963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalacticGoldfish/pseuds/GalacticGoldfish
Summary: A follow up to primrose garden!Months have passed since Jaskier and Geralt had their moment in the inn and since they last saw each other due to obligations. Destiny has once again pushed them together despite their separate attempts at pushing one another away. Their romance hasn't gone unnoticed though as Yennefer has decided to stir the pot as it were. As much as she doesn't like when Geralt gets angry about her dalliances she also doesn't like the fact that he seems to be moving on from her entirely. But when the three of them trek up into the mountains on a lord's errand to slay a beast and recover his bride and when the weather turns sour what will become of the trio? And what lengths will Yennefer go to to remain number one in Geralt's heart and mind?
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: lovers destiny [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642645
Comments: 1
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

Traveling north could make anyone irritable. Between the cold and the weather changing every few moments Jaskier couldn't stand to be on the road a moment longer. Not that he was showing it. No. He was getting paid well to be the entertainment on this little voyage and so entertainment he was going to be. Even if some of the company was less than savory. Though at least there was one highlight to the entire trip. Even if he was still unsure of what grounds that highlight stood with him. Both Yennefer and Geralt were along for the caravan and it was an easy guess as to who was unsavory and who was the highlight. After their... incident in the inn things had been strange between the two of them. 

Jaskier had confessed his love and Geralt had... cried himself to sleep. Though really he supposed that Geralt cried them both to sleep. He hadn't complained though. They shared a moment that he supposed he could be content with for a lifetime. Even in the morning they had shared a tender moment of kisses before unfortunately a few days later having to part ways. But that was how it always was with Geralt. In one day and out the next. Off to hunt some great beast that he wouldn't let you come along for for no better reason than the fact that it was for Jaskier's own safety or some nonsense like that.

The bard himself of course had also managed to find work but it was in the city and that was one place Geralt was apt to avoid. Meaning their next meeting some months later was one that Jaskier wasn't exactly sure how to behave on. Were they lovers now? Or was that a one time thing? He saw Yennefer's ugly eyes cast upon him as they party readied up. As if she knew what had happened between him in Geralt. Though knowing her she probably knew it was happening as it happened. She probably knew it every time Geralt sneezed with how she kept a watchful eye over him. 

As much as he loved to antagonize her though he had other things to do and other people to see. And a distance to keep between the three of them being in the same place at once if he could help it. So instead of hanging back near Geralt as he usually did he rode ahead with the front of the party. His lute in hand, although now it was repaired, Jaskier spent the morning entertaining with as many witty songs as he could possibly think of. Serving the dual purpose of keeping others occupied and of keeping his mind free of thinking about the butterflies that welled up inside of him whenever he thought he caught a glimpse of the witcher.

Unfortunately as well as he was trying to hide it his intentional avoidance didn't go unnoticed by Geralt. Or by Yennefer. She chose to ride close to the witcher, her mind turning as she stayed by his side. Knowing very well that he was thinking of the bard. She didn't mind occasional dalliances on Geralt's end, not as much as he tended to mind hers at least, but this was something new on his mind. Instead of his eyes being focused on the road as they normally were Geralt's eyes locked onto Jaskier's back. Watching him as he played his lute from atop the horse he was riding. It was a talent that Geralt was sure he had perfected over time. 

**"T'was not that long ago you were staring holes into my back as I rode ahead of you."**

Yennefer was not who he wanted to speak to at the moment. If Geralt was being perfectly honest he didn't want to speak to or be spoken to by anyone while they were on this little trip. All he wanted was to get from point a to point b and be alone in his thoughts as he did so. So he didn't say anything back when he knew that Yennefer was trying to pick a fight with him over this. 

**"Isn't it strange that once someone makes love to you that they eventually want nothing to do with you? Could it be your personality or your penchant for abandonment I wonder?"**

Still he did not answer. He didn't want to think that after that night Jaskier wanted nothing to do with him. After all they had been pleasant enough towards each other when they realized both of their services were required. Geralt had just been biding his time and waiting for a moment to get him alone so that perhaps they could talk. All of that complicated by the sorceress appearing. It was as if she knew that he wanted a moment alone. Of course she did. She probably somehow knew that the two of them would finally be reunited and couldn't wait to stick her finger into the pie. 

Geralt heard a line from whatever Jaskier was singing, something about a lover with a hair of snow, and he couldn't help but for a moment wonder if it was something he had come up with recently. Oh if he wanted to he could listen intently from the distance he was at. His hearing far better than any of the humans here. But if he was to listen to the song he wanted to listen to it as intended, as a captive audience that Jaskier could see. But as much as he wanted to he wouldn't. Because as much as he hated to admit it he was afraid of what might happen. 

Jaskier's attention seemed to be on a pretty blonde thing that blushed when he sang to her. He'd never been self conscious about the fact that his face couldn't get flush as other's could and it wasn't quite the feeling he felt right now. But there was something he felt as though he was lacking in comparison to all the others. He wondered if Jaskier had told other lovers that he loved them in the time that they had been apart. Women he had slept with. Or other men even. He wondered if he truly treated them as tenderly as he had treated Geralt. If anything about their encounter was truly special. Or if he'd ruined it entirely with his tears that he couldn't control.

He thought the woman he was singing too now and Jaskier made a handsome pair. He found himself wondering if-

**"They are a lovely pair aren't they? Almost seem made for one another. He'll probably take her to his tent tonight."**

**"Don't read me Yen."**

**"So you can speak! I thought you lost your tongue sticking it down the bard's throat!"**

**"Have you simply come to torment me now? Is this your newest game? I think you should find someone else to play with."**

**"I'm playing no game, simply reminding you that there are other options should your bed be cold tonight. Though if you keep acting like a child then it can stay cold for all I care."**

Then as if she was telling a secret Yennefer leaned in. A blank face but mischief in her eyes that Geralt had grown to dread when he saw. It was never good when Yennefer was feeling mischievous. 

**"You also seem to forget that there is in fact someone else I can play this game with. And that I'm under no obligation to play it nearly as nicely with him as I do with you."**

Before Geralt could answer she had urged her horse forward to cut Roach off and get ahead of him. Yet another person for him to be trailing behind. Though at least he wouldn't have to worry about listening to her prattle on about the things rattling around in his brain. This was why he preferred solitude over traveling with this sort of... party. But he'd been hired to slay a beast and a beast he was going to slay. That and he no longer trusted Yennefer to be left alone with Jaskier. It was apparently fine for her to be engaged to whomever she wanted but as soon as he... No, he wasn't going to dwell on it.

Instead he focused on the road ahead and on that road just happened to be Jaskier. That was all. It was a coincidence and nothing more. Though Jaskier was of course sure it was something else. Something along the lines of destiny or fate. Things that Geralt didn't put too much stock into but the bard loved to sing about. Jaskier's eyes wandered wherever they may as he trusted his horse to do the navigating for him. So he felt free and so inclined to look back at Geralt, so far back from where he was but knowing that his eyesight was much better than anyone else's in the group. 

A small wink and a half grin was all it took to set Geralt's heart a flutter. But instead of feeling glad for it his heart sank as Yennefer also looked back, her eyes all too knowing for his liking. There was a storm brewing and not just in the sky that was for sure. A cold wind blew but as much as it didn't bother him he could see a few others in the group concerned. The wind even went so much as to lift a few skirts as he could see, ladies shrieking slightly with a lilt of a laugh to the tone. Men's voices carrying over the wind talking about whose underthings they'd managed to see.

It was going to be a cold night after all and sleeping on his own wouldn't really bother him that much. He was a witcher after all and had slept in worse conditions. Not that he really enjoyed it but that didn't mean it didn't happen. Not all nights could be spent in a warm bed curled nicely with a pillow and a blanket. Jaskier however hated the cold, his light coat being a disgrace to the weather requirements. It wouldn't be long before he complained of the cold. His fingers freezing and shaking slightly as he plucked at the lute. But he wouldn't let the cold get the better of him. 

**"Sing the one about the maiden of snow!"**

**"No! The one about the girl who fell from the sky!"**

**"Ladies, ladies. I assure you without any doubt that all of your requests will be heeded. But we have such a long journey ahead of us we shouldn't be too hasty. It is a long and hard road ahead of us and we would do good to take our time? As for your requests I can promise that I am more than capable of taking care of both of you."**

Giggles started and then stopped almost immediately as the ladies saw who approached. Geralt had urged Roach forward in time to hear Jaskier's little speech and while it didn't bother him he regretted bothering with him at the moment. After all there was nothing quite like a witcher to kill whatever romantic mood was starting to blossom. So instead of saying anything he simply dumped the cloak onto Jaskier's head and continued to move forward. As if he hadn't been planning on saying anything to him at all. Instead he could pretend that he was going to scout ahead or some nonsense.

Before Jaskier could sort himself out Geralt was already ahead of him. Of course he had been cold but he hadn't figured it was anything to worry about. They would be setting down for camp eventually and he could get plenty warm with a fire and perhaps another body next to him. But the scent of Geralt flooded his nose as soon as the cloak covered his face, even momentarily. And the bard found himself in a mixed state of euphoria and maybe even arousal. Not that it took much when Geralt was involved. Without hesitation he wrapped the cloak around himself and settled into it. 

**"Ever the generous one my witcher isn't he ladies? Now if you'll excuse me from your company for just a moment even if it pains me greatly to leave you..."**

Though really it was no pain at all when he urged the horse forward. For the first time taking control of where he was going and following after Geralt. The cloak around him reminding Jaskier of how it felt when they were in each other's arms. How it felt when they were wrapped up within the blankets just enjoying the feel of each others skin. He wanted it back yes. But he was terrified of what might happen if he pushed it. He had seen what happened when Geralt broke hearts and he didn't know if he could take to having his heart well and truly broken by him. 

For now it sat in a form of limbo really. The hope for a reciprocated love in his heart neither dead nor alive at the moment. Fear overwhelmed hope more often than not in his case. But he wasn't about to show it, not when there were so many other things to be done and said and pretended. Like pretending he was okay that Geralt and himself hadn't immediately snuck away for some sort of affection once they realized they would be traveling together again. Pretending that he was okay that Yennefer was here. Pretending that he was okay that she was already sinking her teeth back into the man she had broken over and over again. 

When the pair of them were well ahead of the rest of the group and Geralt well aware of the fact that Jaskier had followed him only then did he slow Roach slightly. It was a moment the pair of them had been anticipating and dreading all at once. Being alone together once more. It wasn't as if they could run off and do anything, illicit, at the moment. Instead they would be forced into Jaskier's favorite pastime. Talking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just another warning that i still do not care about the cannon in the witcher and will be doing whatever the fuck i want with witcher physiology to make this more fun for me to write. enjoy!

But yet the talking didn't start right away. Instead Jaskier stared at Geralt, bundled up in his cloak with just his face peering out. The wind had picked up once more and now there were flakes of snow falling. Geralt's scouting had turned from monster hunting to look for where the group might camp for the night. They couldn't travel in this weather once the sun started to set. And the sun set so early in these mountains. Not that it was a terrible thing mind you. Jaskier still held out some hope that perhaps they could get cozy later on in the evening. Though he knew the competition was between himself and Yennefer.

**"I have to thank you for the cloak, I feared frostbite would be taking my fingers before much longer. What a tragedy that would be, unable to play the lute. Unable to perform my many other services. It would be a tragedy."**

**"Hmm."**

**"It's been some time since we've seen each other, I don't think I can properly count it really. I've missed you dearly you know."**

**"Have you?"**

Jaskier exhaled a little more sharply than he intended to. Geralt was shutting him out again. Something he had done in the past yet something he had hoped they were past at this stage in whatever their relationship was. 

**"Just, speak to me normally Geralt. You were plenty happy to talk when we were alone before. Here we are alone again and I want to talk as we did before."**

**"We are the furthest from alone at the moment right now Jaskier. You of all people should know that well enough."**

He of course meant Yennefer. Her ears and eyes were everywhere and anything said between himself and Jaskier would be relayed back to her one way or another. Jaskier hadn't a clue about her threats and promises from earlier and if he did he would simply have turned his horse back to slap her in the face himself. Something that would end in disaster. Something that Geralt couldn't let pass. The safest way for this to transpire was for him to simply stay away from the both of them. 

**"Of course we aren't alone, your beloved sorceress is here with us! How could I forget the ever present proverbial sword above my heart that continues to swing dangerously close to where I fear it might sever me from..."**

The one person he loved. But he wasn't going to utter that word again. Not when the last time had left them in this state. At the best of times Jaskier wasn't the most logical of person. His emotions ruled his thinking as much as he tried to hide them down. To be quite honest he was sure he did a better job of it than Geralt at least. So when it came down to it he figured preserving their friendship was more important than how he really felt about the entire matter. 

He desperately wanted to tell Geralt how much he wanted to be held once more by him. How he wanted to feel his lips again. But instead he steeled himself and threw it into whatever chamber of his mind and heart he used to repress everything that hurt him. The place that eventually was going to overflow with everything he tried to ignore in his life. But for now it had room for one more shitty thing to dwell in it and haunt his mind and dreams at night. Regardless of how he felt, he didn't want to push Geralt away any further than he already had.

**"Nonetheless, I thank you for the cloak once more. I'll be sure its cleaned before I give it back to you. After all, my scent clinging to it can't be all bad I'm sure but I know how sensitive your nose is."**

They had slowed now enough that others had begun to catch up to them. Squealing and wailing about the cold and snow, some of them delighting in throwing it at one another. But Geralt was somber as ever and Jaskier faked a smile as one of the ladies mischievously held up a ball of the white powder and tossed it gently at him. While he had no real interest in her he did have an interest in getting paid for his services of keeping people merry and bright on this journey. Even if he couldn't keep himself happy at least he could do that much for others. 

Carefully he slid from his horse and onto the ground, eager for some sort of distraction. Geralt's cloak swirling around him as he scooped up some of the snow in his own hands. It was cold. Good. It was a sensation he didn't mind feeling. Perhaps if his fingers froze off it would be penance for ruining every good thing that ever came into his life? But no, he wasn't supposed to think like that. He wasn't supposed to wish himself harm. And yet, he couldn't help it. As he threw the bundle of snow into the air with a smile on his face his mind was thinking of all the ways he deserved to be punished. Abandonment. Physical Pain. Living with the knowledge of knowing that no matter what he wouldn't have a foothold in Geralt's heart. 

The cold on the outside no longer bothered him as much as it had before. Compared to how he felt in his heart at the moment it felt warmer than he had in some time. As the girls surrounded him with an arsenal of snow Jaskier couldn't help but hope for one of them to accidentally have a rock or something in it. Something to make him feel just a little bit better about running off to play while he let Geralt do as he pleased. Once again going into that forbidden zone of wishing for something or someone to hurt him so that he didn't do it to himself. His thoughts began to swirl like the snow and out of control. Briefly dancing towards the thought that there were many cliffs in the area he could just, slip over the edge of.

The last one made his blood run colder than the snow and while Geralt watched over him the rest of the afternoon was a blur to him. Geralt had done his duty and found them a place to settle in for the night. Trees for cover and some wood that hadn't been soaked through by the snow for fire. The camp was abuzz with activity between tents being set up and fires being built for people to huddle around for warmth. The witcher wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do. He could feel both Yen and Jaskier watching him at times. 

Not taking Yennefer's offer would be more dangerous than anything, but he knew that if he did so he would hurt Jaskier in a way he never wanted to. Instead he urged Roach on, outside of camp a ways so that perhaps he could get some rest on his own. Though without his cloak he wasn't exactly sure how warm he would end up staying. Perhaps there was a cave or something he could curl up and die in or something for the night. At least he knew Yen would never leave the campsite in this sort of weather. He doubted Jaskier had even been paying attention to the direction he went. 

As night fell he cleared a small area of some of the snow the best he could, knowing good and well that more was simply going to fall through the night. At least a fire would be able to keep some of it away. Geralt noted that the snow had probably covered his tracks as well, meaning that he wouldn't be followed. Once again not that he expected anyone to follow him anywhere. Though who was he really kidding? Deep down in parts of himself that he tended to ignore he wished someone had come after him. Asking him to stay. But no one would. He was a monster and worse yet he was a monster who didn't know how to behave when someone poured their heart out to him. Even if it was a mutual feeling. 

It wasn't until it was pitch black everywhere but where the fire shone did he start to hear shouting. He hadn't gone far enough away from camp to drown that out simply because who knew if they would end up getting attacked by something. There were no screams so he wondered if perhaps they were just having a very rowdy party in camp. It wasn't until he heard the 'where are you's and shouting Jaskier's name did he start to get a worried feeling in the pit of his stomach. Kicking out his fire he headed back to camp as quickly as Roach could navigate. 

The camp was in a tizzy searching for the bard who had apparently disappeared from the camp. Someone had gone to ask him for a song or two around the campfire and yet he was nowhere to be found. Yennefer was the only one seemingly unconcerned. Standing outside her tent as she drank with a smile on her face. Of course she had something to do with this. Why ever had he thought that staying away would be the solution? When the only way to win with her was to lose by doing whatever she wanted. 

**"Where did he go Yen?"**

**"Hmmm? Oh now you want something from me? A pity, I'm all out of fucks to give witcher. Perhaps if you had stayed in camp where you were invited your bard wouldn't be lost alone in the snow and cold."**

**"I don't have time for this."**

She of course had seen Jaskier wander off into the night. In the wrong direction of course but who was she to disrupt his little mission of valor? If he wanted to play the hero in the dead of night then who was she to stop him? For all Yennefer knew if she told Jaskier which way was the right way he would simply ignore her. After all he didn't trust her in the slightest. And neither of them liked each other enough to care. Geralt knew she was trying to goad him into getting the information from here how she usually did. A tumble in her bed and he would know where Jaskier went. But by then it would be too late he feared.

Fortunately enough he didn't need her in order to find him. Rather than answering her Geralt turned his back on Yennefer of Vengerberg. Heading to Jaskier's tent he knew he'd find what he needed in there. His things were neatly laid out in the small tent. Geralt never really figured him for the type but he didn't have time to ponder it now. One of his shirts casually draped across his bag as though Jaskier knew Geralt would need it. Grabbing the fabric he brought it close to his nose and inhaled deeply. It wasn't that he didn't know what Jaskier smelled like anyways. He was acutely aware of it. This was just a booster to help fight through the other scents in the area that could clog up his nose. 

His blood quickened as he got the scent in his mind. Geralt had never known how badly he could miss someone's scent until now. If he found Jaskier... No, when he found Jaskier, he would apologize for being a fool about all of this. He would give him some concrete answer to the question that had been asked yet unspoken all those months ago. No matter how uncomfortable it made him to think that he might be ruining someone else's life once more. He wasn't about to be outdone by Jaskier that was for sure. Because now that he was on the trail the hunt could truly begin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my canon i make the rules about how witcher's work. also if you like this work you can find me @/catboyjaskier on twitter!

He left Roach in camp. Knowing that he would be able to move more swiftly when he didn't have to worry about navigating the horse through the forest. Geralt knew he'd be able to carry Jaskier back on his own if he needed to. Though he hoped the bard would be in the condition to walk back on his own. Having to carry him after being out in the cold like this could mean dangerous things if he wasn't fast enough. He ran with an urgency he normally didn't bother with on rescue missions such as this. Sure he did his jobs but he did them at his pace and no faster. This was so much more than a job though. 

No longer did he care about the five hundred orens promised to him for bringing the lady back safe. She was tucked into the back of his mind as it was. Jaskier was the only person he was concerned with. His heart seemed calm, as all witcher's did. But in reality he could feel the fear of losing him twisting around like a thorny vine. Squeezing his heart and making it hard to breath. He feared that if he cried now the tears would freeze to his face. The thick and viscous liquid would make it even harder to keep his thoughts clear of despair. He had no trouble seeing in these woods, even in the dark. Potions saw to that. 

His nose was hot on the trail of wherever Jaskier had been going. Though his footprints were long lost to the snow it wasn't as if he needed them. Bent and broken branches of dead trees and the smell of whatever flowers Jaskier had used to bathe his clothes in kept him on task. Geralt didn't bother with being quiet in his movements. The louder he was the more likely it was he would draw Jaskier's attention to him. And yet he couldn't bare to call out his name. It felt as though his throat tried to close on itself whenever he did. As if he felt as though he didn't deserve to speak the bard's name aloud. 

It wasn't until Jaskier's scent was mixed with the one of rotting flesh did he actually utter a sound. It wasn't a word. Just a guttural noise from the base of his throat. Almost feral sounding as if he was letting out a war cry. There was something not right up ahead and his fear had begun to take over whatever instincts he had kept in reserve over the years. The wet sound of something shuffling over snow, grunting low with an unnatural sound, caught his ears. Drawing his sword he didn't hesitate to simply rush in. Against all common sense he threw his entire body into whatever was approaching Jaskier's still form on the ground. 

It was a bear, though not one that he thought was of any natural creation. Its skull was cracked open, coagulated blood oozing out. Eyes dull as though it had been dead and brought back. Much as a drowner behaved. It didn't seem to see him as it were but instead moved by smell instead. As Geralt moved away from it having grabbed the attention of the beast he noticed it's jaw. Half hanging off of its mouth as if it had been broken. Whatever this creature was, it wasn't something that needed to be walking about as it was. The sound it made probably would have been some sort of a roar if not for the sickly wet sound that came from its broken maw. 

Drool dripped from its mouth. A sickly green mixture tinged with red. It lumbered towards Geralt its massive paws crashing through the snow. Dead eyes stared at him as he backed away from it. Quickly he drew his silver sword, the one used for killing such beasts. If he had known it was something undead he would have oiled his weapon. But no, the lord of this land hadn't told him of this beast. If he was even aware it currently existed. Just his sword would have to suffice. If he could simply somehow remove the head he was sure that would be the end of it. Or perhaps setting it on fire. If he was alone he would simply Quen but with Jaskier here he couldn't risk the beast losing interest in him.

Again Geralt made a war cry of a sound as he swung his sword, wanting to catch the bear beast off guard. If he had thought about it more thoroughly he wouldn't have made a single noise and approached the bear with sword in hand quietly. So that perhaps he might be able to get the drop on it now. But instead it swiped a massive paw at him, claws barely missing his stomach. The stench of death and rot permeated the air as it moved. Geralt's attack had been halted for a minute but at least he still had the bear's attention. Pulling it further and further from where Jaskier lay on the ground. Agni would be his best bet. Burn the creature to ash, melt the flesh from its bones. Stop the muscles that allowed it to move so. 

Further back. Further back. Further back he drew the bear. With wild swings that seemed to cause his sword to stick in the flesh for a few moments and screams and yells to rival that of the bear's noise. Occasionally he felt the thick coagulated blood from the beast hit his face from one of the swings. It smelled disgusting and felt as thought it would start to burn at any minute. Yet it never did. Finally it felt as though they were far enough and Geralt stopped moving, stopped making noise. Close he crept towards the bear until he could feel it practically breathing in his face. The smell of rotten flesh enough to make any other man sick as he made Igni. 

The smell of burning rotting flesh nearly made him want to stop but Geralt steeled himself instead. The beast let out a horrifying screeching sound as the thick mucus that encased it's throat began to dry with the fire. Letting the passage way simply release the air into the heat. Rotted flesh began to fall from it in thick and heavy chunks. Parts of the fur burned faster than others, not having the moisture from being a living being anymore and not being covered in whatever coated the creature's body to stop it from rotting entirely. A calmer Geralt would have thought perhaps that preserving the creature's head might do a sorcerer some good, to find out where it was from and what had caused it. But he wasn't a calm man right now.

The flames raged as long as he could hold them and by the time he was finished there was a charred pile of bone of the ground. Small parts of flesh and fur where they had blown off from the force remained but as far as anyone could tell this was just the carcass of a long dead bear that had been burned for some reason. But he knew differently. His amulet had been humming in his ear even though he had been far more focused on something else at the time. Still it hummed as the jaws of the beast once more began to move. It was bones with just a small amount of sinew and yet it persisted. Geralt simply crushed it beneath his boots and made a note to send Yennefer out here to look at it at some point. Perhaps she could make some sense of it all.

His attention was immediately focused on Jaskier now. Carefully he moved him, hoping that the beast hadn't gotten to him before he was able. A bruise on his cheek and blood on his forehead concerned Geralt. Though there was also a rock near where he had fallen and he was certain it was probably his blood that had landed on it. Geralt's best guess was that the bard had slipped and fallen out here, knocking himself unconscious. With as much care as he could muster he scooped Jaskier into his arms, careful not to rattle his head too much for fear of some sort of trauma. The situation wasn't ideal but it wasn't the worst either.

His adrenaline was still pumping as he made his way back to the frenzied camp. Carrying Jaskier much as one would carry a bride across the threshold. Clinging to him for dear life and counting the moments between each of his breaths. Making sure that his heart was still beating as he listened to it. His mutant ears were good for something at least. If he hadn't been holding so tightly to Jaskier his hands would be trembling. His mind was blank from anything other than the thoughts of getting Jaskier to safety. Nothing else mattered. 

There were screams when he entered the camp covered in blood and carrying an unconscious Jaskier. Of course people had gotten the wrong idea. The mutant carrying their beloved bard into camp in this state. They probably thought that he had killed him. A few of the women that Jaskier had been speaking to promptly fainted. Or at least pretended to. He couldn't tell and didn't care. Clinging tightly to Jaskier he tried walking him to the tend that Geralt knew belonged to the bard. Only to be stopped by some nonsense healers. 

He snarled as they tried to take him from his hands, only relenting once some sensibilities came back over him that they were trying to help. If he'd had hackles they would have raised as they tried to take him out of sight. They were right, he was a freak, a mutant, a monster. For the way he was behaving he might as well have been no better than an animal. But he was hopped up on the potions that made him so very strong in the first place. His body feeling as though it was burning and muscles having energy to burn. When Yennefer approached him she recognized the signs immediately.

As Geralt tried to follow into what was already going to be a cramped tent, still covered in blood, she grasped his arm to stop him. His eyes flashed and the teeth he normally kept well hidden were bared to the sorceress. 

**"You can't go in there in this state witcher. You're filthy."**

**"Don't tell me what to do sorceress!"**

He tried to pull away from her but her grip held fast as she pulled him once more. And once more he bared his fangs only to be met with a very firm slap to the face. Stunning him mostly out of surprise and bringing him back to ground for a moment. His temper lowered and he tried to clear his head some. She was right, he couldn't go in there looking like this. Acting like this. Feeling like this. Jaskier deserved better when he woke up. And he was going to wake up. For certain. Healers would take care of him and he would be right as rain. Jaskier would wake up and they would take a quiet moment with one another and Geralt would explain as much of himself as he could. 

But for the moment he was being led off, in the other direction. Towards Yennefer's tent. She said something about getting him cleaned up and calmed down before Jaskier woke up. Geralt found himself stripping from his clothes with Yennefer's voice in the background talking about how she wanted the blood samples she could get from him. Her hands gently wiping the blood off his face with a wet and warm cloth that he had no idea where it came from. The smell, her smell, of lilacs and gooseberries began to fill his nose. Replacing the scent of Jaskier and blood. 

He began to feel her lips on his and once again he was snapped back to reality. He was shirtless now and her hands were on his chest. This wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't what he came here for. 

**Yen no."**

****

****

**"Hush now Geralt."**

**"Yen! _No_."**

He was firm as he pulled away from her, taking her hands in his and pushing them away from him. This wasn't what he wanted. She wasn't going to keep doing this to him over and over again. But her smell got heavier still and he could feel his head swimming.

**"You're all worked up, you need something to take the edge off."**

They had done this time and time again when he was far too gone on the high of the potions to function. To pretend that he was a normal human being. But he didn't want to pretend now. And he didn't want to climb in bed with her while waiting to know when Jaskier was going to wake up again. 

**"I don't want _you_ to take the edge off." **

Not bothering to grab his shirt that lay discarded on the tent floor he moved past her with all his might. Desperate to get the smell of lilacs and gooseberries out of his mind. Desperate to put distance between himself and her, knowing that if he stayed he'd just be convinced back into that bed once more. He knew that one day in the future he wouldn't be able to deny her but his mind was made up for now. Cleaned for the time being and inhaling as much of the cold night air as he possibly could he made his way back to Jaskier's tent. Intent on watching over him for the rest of the night. If he couldn't help any other way then he could at least be the wolf watching his door. 

He was greeted by the healers leaving the tent. Words about how Jaskier needed to be kept warm and how he would need to be checked on through the night were all he gathered from what they fearfully told him. They were afraid of the beast they had seen earlier and rightfully so. Geralt wasn't really sure if he would have let them live if they told him anything other than the fact that Jaskier was going to be alright. But what did it matter really? He was a freak after all. They left him to it as he entered Jaskier's tent. There he was, head bandaged and covered in blankets and furs.

If it wasn't for the bandaging he appeared to just simply be sleeping peacefully. Surely he would simply awaken in the morning, a smile on his face asking for breakfast. After all he'd missed dinner and surely would be starving. Pulling the blankets back he slid in next to him, careful not to disturb his rest or do anything to hinder his healing. All Geralt wanted to do was lend Jaskier his body heat to help him heal. Or perhaps somehow lend him some of the extended life he was cursed eternally to have. He would trade whatever of it he could to make sure Jaskier was safe. He would not sleep this nice. Instead he would be vigilant. His eyes and ears would spend the entire night watching over Jaskier. 

So that hopefully in the morning he could see the smile that he so desired. So that he could hear the voice that made his life worth living.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its my story and i get to choose the songs sung in it regardless of where they're from. follow me on @/catboyjaskier for a fun time! lavender blue is a good song for this ngl.

The morning came but Jaskier's eyes stayed shut as sunlight filtered over the tent. Geralt hadn't slept a wink. Between the blanket's and his own body heat Geralt had been able to keep him plenty warm through the night. But that hadn't been enough to awaken him apparently. Geralt didn't move until the tent was opened and even then it was only a passing glance at the healers that pushed their way in, followed of course by Yennefer herself. He didn't care if she saw him this way. He didn't care about anything really. Not until Jaskier woke up from this slumber.

But he was too tired also to fight with them as well. The fight. The potions. The worry. All of it wore on him. He wasn't as concerned with the lack of sleep considering he could go days without it normally. He was still shirtless but it was warm enough in the tent that it didn't even matter. By the time he would be ready to go outside to find Roach and the rest of his things the sun would probably be even higher. His plans being of course to stay within the tent until Jaskier woke. Or until he needed to be moved or something.

**"Ever dutiful witcher, considering you got him into this mess with your temper tantrum."**

To the healers that could have meant many things. That he was directly responsible for Jaskier's state by physical means or that he had managed to cause some tragedy to befall him. It of course was the latter but if everyone thought he was a violent brute then he certainly hadn't helped the case with his behavior last night.

**"Are you here to help Yen or are you here to gawk?"**

**"There's nothing I can do Geralt. Your bard will have to wake up in his own time. Forcing it might cause some sort of damage to his brain... More so that he already has."**

She was trying to be teasing but all Yen was doing was trying his patience. Something he found himself very short of in the moment. 

**"If you have nothing useful to say then leave."**

**"I never said that. I simply said there was nothing I could do."**

**"Will you speak plainly?"**

His head hurt too much for this nonsense this early in the morning. If it wasn't Jaskier running his mouth to let him know that he was alright then it was far too much for him. For the first time in forever he in earnest regretted ever laying eyes on this woman. Perhaps he would feel badly about thinking that way later but for now he just wanted to know what he could do to help. If there was anything he could do to help. His shoulders fell and his face fell into concern. 

**"Please, Yen."**

**"Don't beg, it doesn't become you."**

She took a seat on a small chair against the edge of the tent. Staring at Jaskier as the healers looked him over. They checked his bandages and made sure he was still comfortable. That his breathing was still proper and that there was nothing immediately wrong that they could fix. The bruise on his face had blossomed further across his cheek and very close to having given him a black eye. He stood there waiting for her to say something. Anything. Until the healers finally left, hurrying by him so that perhaps they wouldn't be tainted or harmed by the freak.

**"Now, are you ready to listen?"**

Geralt didn't say anything. Instead he moved to sit by Jaskier's bed instead. Laying there all day would drive him mad but still he didn't want to leave his side until he needed to. His job and reason for being up in these mountains all but forgotten for the moment. Money was secondary.

**"First of all, they found the lady. A town over from the lordships home. She'd run away with another man and now is safely back in the arms of her betrothed instead. The camp is being broken down and there's a wagon arranged for your bard."**

One problem off of Geralt's plate taken care of.

**"Secondly, I went and had a look at the creature you incinerated. I couldn't tell anything other than that it had formerly been a bear but perhaps that was because it was burned to a crisp."**

And he would have done it again too if need be.

**"Finally, in cases like these it helps to speak to the sleeper. Keep their mind anchored in the here and now. Talk to them. Tell them stories. Confess your sins. Do whatever you like. There's no telling if they can actually really hear and understand what you're saying. Or if its just the noise that keeps them close."**

It was all the advice she really had to give at the moment. Geralt wasn't really sure what to do with it but if speak to Jaskier was what he needed to do then speak to him he would. He would commit to his promise of telling him everything he needed to now while he slept and then again when he awoke. He wasn't good with words, only able to really parrot words of affection he had heard from others. Even that he did poorly since they never seemed quite right when he spoke them. Never seemed like they carried the same sort of weight. With Jaskier he felt a heaviness though. In all the right ways. A heaviness that kept him grounded. No. A heaviness that kept him rooted to his humanity.

But those words he didn't want to say in front of Yennefer of all people. Still wounded from last night he knew he had hurt her pride by rejecting her. He wondered when it would come back to bite him in the ass. So long as it bit him and Jaskier he didn't care what happened. When she stood he simply brushed down the blankets some, knowing that soon he would need to move the bard to the wagon. 

**"One, actual, final thing Geralt. I will not squabble and fight over your affections with him. If you expect me to throw myself at your feet later down the line you're sorely mistaken. If you expect me to fight him for you as you tried to do for me then you are also sorely mistaken. I will not be made a fool of."**

**"If you raise a hand to him Yen then that might finally be the day I draw sword against you."**

The pair of them left it at that. Geralt knowing that he had finally drawn a line on where he stood and Yennefer debating on how far he would go to carry on with this. But for today she wasn't in the mood to push buttons and Geralt wasn't in the mood to have them pushed. As soon as he got the okay and constant barrages of comments for him to be careful, Geralt moved Jaskier to the wagon. Securing Roach behind it as he intended to ride with the bard to have what was sure to be a very one sided conversation. 

At least Yennefer had seemed to already clear out. Her message well and clear in the back of Geralt's mind that he would have many more things to fix in his lifetime. For now though he settled as comfortably as he could. Next to the bundle of blankets that housed Jaskier. They had taken pillows and blankets from everyone who had packed them in order to keep the bard from moving too much as the cart moved. Geralt added his own now dry cloak to the pile of things. Hoping somehow that his scent could cause Jaskier to wake. Though he doubted it would work. 

There was nothing special about the way he smelled. Nothing but dirt and grime and blood most of the time really. But as he ignored the stares of the few people left in camp he wondered if somehow it would be enough. If he would be enough. But he had made a vow and he intended to keep it. That he would tell Jaskier everything finally. Perhaps not all at once but he in fact would do it. Climbing into the wagon he realized that if this were any other situation the scenery right now would be beautiful. Something Jaskier would be singing about. Composing about. 

Geralt would be watching him as he moved through the snow. More gracefully than the witcher could himself for sure. But for now he was gently brushing the hair off of the bard's forehead and hoping that eventually his eyes would open. No not eventually. That they would open soon. Never did Geralt think he would miss them so much. The wagon began to rattle as the driver pushed forward. It would be a long trek down the mountain meaning Geralt had plenty of time to speak. Though he wished it would be without an audience he figured he could pretend that they were alone.

**"Yen said that if I spoke to you that you might wake up faster. Though knowing her it's probably a ploy to just make me look like a fool in front of others. I don't mind looking like a fool though Jaskier, not if it might help you."**

He didn't know where to look as he spoke. Not wanting to look at Jaskier's still sleeping face but not wanting to stare down Roach as he spoke either. His eyes drifted instead to the sky. Leaning his head back against the wood so that he could watch as clouds, probably full of snow, drifted by. It would suffice for now.

**"I never should have left things the way I did. And I never should have tried to push you away when we came back together. I... I get afraid Jaskier, thinking of the things that could happen to you because of me."**

Admitting that he was afraid was something he rarely did. If ever. Especially not to someone's face. Though Jaskier being asleep like this made it easier.

**"I'm afraid of what misfortune will do to you if I stay by your side. It follows me wherever I go and effects everyone I get close to. And still, even when I tried to push you away you end up in this state because of me. No matter what near or far I cause you problems. At least near I can try and protect you from that misfortune."**

Geralt had come to the realization that he never wanted to part from the bard again. As much as he preferred to travel alone he couldn't imagine a life where Jaskier wasn't in it. Ignoring for now the fact that their lifespans were in fact very different all he could think was the dread he felt at realizing that he didn't want to spend his life alone.

**"Jaskier... Julian, I promise you this. If you wake up I won't leave you again. I'll give you an honest answer to your question. I'll tell you that I love you. I'll tell you every day. Just please, wake up."**

Expecting some miracle from his confession he looked down at Jaskier once more. His heart heavy when he realized that his confession hadn't caused this sleep to break. As though he expected it to be the same as breaking some magic spell. He'd heard many times that true love could break a spell but never had he seen it nor believed it. For before he'd never believed that love could be that true to break such a thing. What ailed Jaskier wasn't magical anyways. If it were he would know of it.

Settling in next to him Geralt laid down, his own hand finding Jaskier's under the mess of blankets and furs. His hand was warm. A good sign the witcher thought. Since if it were cold it would mean that no matter what he said the bard would never awaken to hear it. Another idea came to Geralt's mind. Probably a bad idea but an idea nonetheless. Jaskier was a bard and more than anything he responded to the sound of music. Unable to play an instrument the best Geralt would be able to do was sing. A song stuck in his mind that he'd heard Jaskier sing to plenty of maidens was the first to come to his lips.

**_"Lavender blue  
Dilly-dilly  
Lavender green  
If I were king  
Dilly-dilly  
I'd need a queen."_ **

He felt silly singing this sort of thing. His voice felt rough compared to the average person's singing and terrible compared to Jaskier. His hesitation was clear when it came to this sort of thing. If nothing else the bard could perhaps wake up to tell him to stop torturing a cat. But he wasn't going to give up and gently he squeezed Jaskier's hand.

**_"Whoa-oh, who told me so  
Dilly-dilly  
Who told me so  
I told myself  
Dilly-dilly  
I told me so_ **

**_If your dilly-dilly heart  
Feels a dilly-dilly way  
If you'll answer yes-"_ **

All of a sudden Geralt stopped, feeling his hand be squeezed back by the bard and a soft gasping sound from his lips. His eyes didn't yet open but softly Jaskier finally spoke to him.

**"If you wanted to woo me Geralt... using a song like that... is the way to do it."**


End file.
